I have excused myself from the others, for now.
I write as I sit on the roof of the cabin, able to stand my watch, and to be left alone with my thoughts. I thought to sit down and try to paint, but I've no supplies. I can send for some. Perhaps doing something for each of the others will help my understanding of them. They still puzzle me.
Moira-san seems to believe that being throw out of a window by the Great Enemy's spawn was all part of a clever scheme. Something in me doubts this. But it does not matter, come the end. It did not take long for us to surround the cabin, both the girl and her troops still inside. After Alanna-san managed to disable a trap laid at the back door, we all moved in to assault the entrances. The enemy did not really stand much of a chance. The common rabble were dispatched with frightening ease as soon as the girl was disabled.
Alanna-san was right. It was worse, this time. I excused myself after cleaning my naginata's blade to check the perimiter. I'm sure she realized the excuse. She has a sharp eye. And tact enough to let me tend to my own troubles. But I have been taught that the fear is always there. All that matters is how it is confronted. In time, I will be able to properly hold it at bay and deal with it in my own time. For now, solitude is the solution.
I may bring this up quietly with Alanna-san, but Aren-san may need training. I have no wish to shame her, but I do not wish to see anyone hurt because she was unable to fight. I will have to think on this some more. Perhaps I should talk to her alone? We shall see. There is little that can be done now. Patience is as much a weapon or shield as valor.
Moira-san is calling. It seems she's prepared a meal. There has been no sign of further intrusion. I will have to trust to my instincts for now, and worry less.
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